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Thread: Big Brother ..........

  1. #1
    Mechanic

    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Essex
    Age
    50
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    Big Brother ..........

    This is very worrying…
    The future, if Google has it's way.


    Hello! Gordon's Pizza?
    - No sir this is Google's Pizza.How may I help?
    Sorry, I must have dialled a wrong number?
    - No sir, Google bought out Gordon's Pizza a short while ago.
    Okay. Can you take my order?.
    - Yes sir, would you like your usual?
    My usual? You know me?
    - According to our caller-ID database, your last 12 orders were for pizza with
    cheese and sausage toppings, thick crust and crisp base.
    Wow! That's it...
    - May I suggest this time you add ricotta, rocket and sundried tomato toppings.
    Why? I hate vegetables.
    - Your Facebook profile indicates your cholesterol is not good, sir.
    How do you know that?
    - We cross-matched your phone number with your name and your Tesco online medical
    portal. We have the result of your blood tests for the past 7 years.
    Okay, but I do not want those toppings, I already take medicine.
    - Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medicine regularly. We can see from
    our database that 4 months ago, you purchased a box with only 30 cholesterol tablets
    at Lloyds Pharmacy.You haven't purchased any since.
    I bought more from another pharmacy.
    - Sir, there's a problem as that transaction is not showing in your credit card account.
    Because I paid in cash.
    - But Sir, you did not withdraw that much cash according to any of your recent bank statements.
    I have another source of cash.
    - That is not showing as per your latest tax return unless you obtained it from an
    undeclared income source? Or maybe you were confused. Remember the result of your
    recent MRI did indicate early onset Alzheimer's.
    WHAT THE.....What about data protection legislation?
    - I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the intention of helping you and making your life easier.
    LIFE EASIER, HOW ?
    motorway CCTV sir, says you are slow to make decisions on journeys, we watch you only to help.
    Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, What Sapp. I'm going to an Island without
    internet, cable TV, where there is no mobile phone service and no one to spy on me.
    - I fully understand sir but first you'll need to renew your passport as it expired 6 weeks ago!
    Your wife's passport is still valid but your mistresses is also out of date. Can we book your
    flights? Which names should we book?

  2. #2
    Bodger

    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Holywell
    Posts
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    Re: Big Brother ..........

    Waaaah! It’s coming: big brother!

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