Jokes

[1KGF]

Q. What happened when one cannibal arrived late to the dinner party?
A. The others gave him the cold shoulder.

[1KGF]

The boating store was having a big sale on canoes. It was quite the oar deal.

[1KGF]

Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
A: Terrier-fied!

[1KGF]

Q: What do you call a large dog that meditates?
A: Aware wolf.

[1KGF]

Q: Why do cows go to New York?
A: To see the moosicals!

[1KGF]

Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation?
A: The baaaahamas

[1KGF]

Q. Why shouldn't you marry a tennis player?
A. Because Love means nothing to them.

[1KGF]

Q: What did the elephant want for his birthday?
A: A trunk full of gifts.

[1KGF]

Q: When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
A: When you slice it.

[1KGF]

Q: What did the teddy bear say when it was offered some birthday cake?
A: No thanks, I’m stuffed.

[1KGF]

Doctor, doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.
Try taking the candles off.

[Graham]

Doctor, doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.
Try taking the candles off.

you know you could of put them all in one thread and had the same effect?

[Jane55]

Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

[James65]

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

[Pooley]

what do you call a man with no arms or legs that lives in the sea?

Bob

[Daddio]

I found a hole in my trainer today. Unfortunately she wasn't pleased and I'm now banned from the gym.

[rallyrob]

[Daddio]

Did you hear about the truck carrying tortoises that crashed into a truck carrying terrapins? It was a turtle disaster (have to thank the late great Tommy Cooper for that one)